"Crash Test Barbie" Rocket!

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Low Orbit Attempt a Failure!

"The Right Stuff" Barbie has failed magnificently in her attempt to reach low earth orbit once again, with Wednesdays effort. "The Right Stuff" Barbie was very optimistic prior to the launch when at a press conference she stated

"I can hardly wait to strap on that big fella, light the match then ... VOOOM!"

Witnesses report that there wasn't really much VOOOM at all.

"The Right Stuff" Barbie strapped herself to the anemic childs toy rocket and waited while launch pad technicians tried repeadily to "ignite that sucker" The countdown was delayed at least 3 times for such problems as, technitions tripping over the wire and pulling out the fuse, confusion as to how the launch button worked, and general launch site silliness.

Finally the engine was ignited and "Right Stuff Barbie" accelerated rapidly reaching a stunning height of approximately 3 feet (18 Barbie feet) when the engine was spent and the rocket thudded softly in the grass. This altitude is far short of the current record of 250 feet (1,500 Barbie feet) held by "Burn Unit Barbie" which was achieved with gunpowder and a canon that very same day.

When asked by this reporter about her achievement "Burn Unit Barbie" was quoted as replying "Owwww"

Burn Unit Barbie

"The Right Stuff" Barbie could not be reached for comment and is believed to be in seclusion in a wilderness area.


Authorities have announced the discovery of the famous adventurer "Right Stuff Barbie" who has been missing for two weeks. "Right Stuff Barbie" disappeared from public shortly after her failed attempt to reach low earth orbit via toy rocket power. Friends believed she had gone into seclusion to mope and eat Hagendaz ice cream.

However authorities now suspect that she attempted to reclaim the altitude record from her rival "Burn Unit Barbie" by launching herself from her own canon. From the charred remains it appears that the attempt was a failure.

No word yet on weather "Right Stuff Barbie" was acting alone or if she had assistants who might come forth with more information. "Right Stuff Barbie's" head is reported missing and is believed to still be at large.