nav
|
"MARK II"
|
Not letting catastrophic failure stop them, the
"Crash Test Barbie" team has built a thoroughly redesigned "Rocket Powered Boat" Christened the "Jammy Dogger Mark II", the latest design incorporates two model rocket engines along with a second stage fuel supply.
"We expect great things from this design" said an anonymous team member. Experts however are already pointing out major design and even concept flaws.
A Well known "Rocket Scientist".... |
One of the few subjects that the University of Rocket Science totally ignored was the Dynamics of Black Powder. I have informed them of this serious oversight. In fact, my knowledge of black powder is limited to movies on the Civil War
and Davie Crockett. And, this being the case, I think of black powder as an
explosive more than a propellant. But when a gun is fired the backfire is
definitely similar to propulsion.
Assuming that the force of the explosion is contained and directed out the
exhaust tubes, this force has two components. One of these components is
forward; the other is vertical (down). The down component is important when
the force is sudden (like an explosion). If the force were applied more
gradually she would have a better chance, The overall effect will likely be that
the boat flips after the stern is submerged. (See below)
If the boat does move forward there will be another problem. Barbie’s head
and back are unsupported. She will be thrown backwards, hinged at the waist.
It is even possible for her head to come in contact with the exhaust – and the
explosion. - Signed, "A Well Known Rocket Scientist" (retired) |
|
|
Rumors are circulating that such scathing comments from the scientific community has caused the "Crash Test Barbie" team to retrofit a Mattel Approved safety chair complete with plastic restraining harness which was first used in the disastrous "Rocket Powered Car"
Tentative launch date has been set for Saturday, October 11th. The event is expected to draw coverage from the underground news organizations in the area. Could this indeed be "Crash Test Barbies" final adventure? Stay Tuned!
Due to increasing pressure from the scientific community, the "Crash Test Barbie" team has made modifications to the "Jammy Dogger Mark II" Rocket powered boat. "We've always had Barbies safety in mind when we design these projects" said an anonymous team member, "I think that is reflected in our past works!"
Improvements to the Rocket Powered Boat include a Mattel approved safety seat with restraint as well as a pretty pink crash helmet for Barbie to wear. The helmet is rumored to be made from high quality egg shell ... Mother Natures own protection for millions of fragile chicks.
It is unknown at this time if these changes will satisfy the critically important scientific community or if the "Crash Test Barbie" project is in for more rough waters before Saturdays launch. |
|
|
"Crash Test Barbie" Survives!
The Jammy Doger Mark II Rocket Powered Boat successfully got underway by its own power Sunday, moving 5 feet before exploding in a ball of flame and smoke. Test pilot "Crash Test Barbie" survived the explosion with minor burns and is reported to be doing well.
One team member was reported to comment "It worked! It really worked! The rocket engines ignited and propelled the craft out into the pond. - Right up to the explosion everything went as we had hoped"
Unlike previous experiments "Crash Test Barbie" survived relatively unscathed with only singed hair and minor burns to show for the experience. Many onlookers thought of this as a failure but the "Crash Test Barbie" development team was unanimous in seeing this as a major success. "She kept her head! - Thats progress. If we save the head we can do better next time!"
However many admitted that the boat failed to achieve the propulsion and distance that the team hoped for. That and the explosion dampened the spirits of even the most jaded team members.
CTB NEWS filmed the event and has released the video.
|
|
|